Why? Some people get it confused. That's what Daddy calls me but my real name is Cassiopeia. Mama says the night I came, Daddy stood outside crying, and looked up at the stars and saw a Y-shaped thing. He kept pointing at it, the way he used to do dumb stuff like that and Dr. Robie came out and told him he needed to come in with a name for me. Daddy just kept pointing up at the sky … While he was just standing there, not coming inside, Dr. Robie said, That's Cassiopeia, dumb ass. And that's a W not a Y. He said it just like that. And Daddy said that's what they should name me, Cassiopeia. Mama didn't like it because she wanted to name me after my Aunt Ruby Deen but Daddy said my Aunt Ruby Deen wasn't no real kin to us—just cuz she married my real Uncle Mozell didn't mean nothing. Daddy said she likes to steal soap and toilet paper and thinks nobody notices it. But we do. How you not notice how much soap or toilet tissue you got under your sink? And why she always take that big fat yellow pocketbook into the bathroom? Daddy said her whole family born with roguishness in their fingers—my daughter will not be named after no roguish married-in-laws. Daddy had a way of standing in place when he got ready. When I got six and they sent me to kin-knee-garden, Daddy started calling me Y. He said it made more damn sense than that sissified Cassiopeia. He said he was soft the night he named me the first time. Too soft for Midland and his child would not be called no name with two s-es in it. We got enough to walk through as it is. It stuck since then. At least for him—and that's the way it is. It don't matter too much though. I'm Y at home and somebody else at school. At school they call me dumb dumb, like Dr. Robie did Daddy. That stuck too. Since I got six and went to Ms.Watkins' class. Ms. Watkins is a mean ole cow. She got a plastic leg that make you think you might feel sad for her, but you don't cuz she just too damn mean. When she falls down she swats her hand at anybody trying to help her up. Mean. Daddy said Ms. Watkins wanted to be my Mama, but Mama beat her to it. She hated me since the minute I walked into class that day, looking just like Mama. Daddy may be dumb, but Mama said he had a hard time saying no to all these women around here. She said they tipped their skirts up when he passed. And he went sniffin' behind them. She said I might get grown and walk to the grocery store and catch sight of me and Daddy's eyes in somebody's face that ain't me. I think she thinks I know what she means. But I don't--but I do know what she means when she says she weren't never gone tip her skirt up for nobody and that's why Daddy picked her. She was resistant, she said. That's one of those words Mama uses. And you know what else, that ole cow Ms. Watkins is just about the only one ever called me my whole real name, Cassiopeia Strawberry John. Everybody at St. James AME say I have a first name last name and a jelly flavor in the middle name. Mama said to tell them to go to hell. That I have my daddy's last name, John, like Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and sweetness in the middle just like my disposition. I don't know what disposition means, but I intend to one day because Mama said that's what I have, a sweet disposition.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Sweetness in the Middle
Why? Some people get it confused. That's what Daddy calls me but my real name is Cassiopeia. Mama says the night I came, Daddy stood outside crying, and looked up at the stars and saw a Y-shaped thing. He kept pointing at it, the way he used to do dumb stuff like that and Dr. Robie came out and told him he needed to come in with a name for me. Daddy just kept pointing up at the sky … While he was just standing there, not coming inside, Dr. Robie said, That's Cassiopeia, dumb ass. And that's a W not a Y. He said it just like that. And Daddy said that's what they should name me, Cassiopeia. Mama didn't like it because she wanted to name me after my Aunt Ruby Deen but Daddy said my Aunt Ruby Deen wasn't no real kin to us—just cuz she married my real Uncle Mozell didn't mean nothing. Daddy said she likes to steal soap and toilet paper and thinks nobody notices it. But we do. How you not notice how much soap or toilet tissue you got under your sink? And why she always take that big fat yellow pocketbook into the bathroom? Daddy said her whole family born with roguishness in their fingers—my daughter will not be named after no roguish married-in-laws. Daddy had a way of standing in place when he got ready. When I got six and they sent me to kin-knee-garden, Daddy started calling me Y. He said it made more damn sense than that sissified Cassiopeia. He said he was soft the night he named me the first time. Too soft for Midland and his child would not be called no name with two s-es in it. We got enough to walk through as it is. It stuck since then. At least for him—and that's the way it is. It don't matter too much though. I'm Y at home and somebody else at school. At school they call me dumb dumb, like Dr. Robie did Daddy. That stuck too. Since I got six and went to Ms.Watkins' class. Ms. Watkins is a mean ole cow. She got a plastic leg that make you think you might feel sad for her, but you don't cuz she just too damn mean. When she falls down she swats her hand at anybody trying to help her up. Mean. Daddy said Ms. Watkins wanted to be my Mama, but Mama beat her to it. She hated me since the minute I walked into class that day, looking just like Mama. Daddy may be dumb, but Mama said he had a hard time saying no to all these women around here. She said they tipped their skirts up when he passed. And he went sniffin' behind them. She said I might get grown and walk to the grocery store and catch sight of me and Daddy's eyes in somebody's face that ain't me. I think she thinks I know what she means. But I don't--but I do know what she means when she says she weren't never gone tip her skirt up for nobody and that's why Daddy picked her. She was resistant, she said. That's one of those words Mama uses. And you know what else, that ole cow Ms. Watkins is just about the only one ever called me my whole real name, Cassiopeia Strawberry John. Everybody at St. James AME say I have a first name last name and a jelly flavor in the middle name. Mama said to tell them to go to hell. That I have my daddy's last name, John, like Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and sweetness in the middle just like my disposition. I don't know what disposition means, but I intend to one day because Mama said that's what I have, a sweet disposition.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)